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Soon, the commissioner went into hiding—or magically disappeared, depending on one's gullibility.

LOCAL CLOWN TAKES CREDIT FOR MAKING LOOMIS DISAPPEAR

Local clown Bucky Boop claims to have made Metropolis Animal Control Commissioner Boris Loomis disappear using a magic trick. After being accused by his wife of selling to local restaurants the meat of dogs and cats his department rounds up, Loomis has been missing for almost 48 hours.

Boop says he learned the trick years ago from an Indian (the red dot kind, not the "How" kind) while working as a Merchant Marine. "It's pretty easy, but I'll never reveal how it's done."

Boop claims that even though he performed the trick, he has no idea where the commissioner is now. "But I don't blame him for not showing his face. The NSPCA people have their pitchforks out for him."

Loomis was last seen at Ho Toy's Restaurant where a Daily News photographer snapped his mug before the fugitive city official socked him in the kisser. Mrs. Loomis, 49, has no comment on her husband's whereabouts.

LIBRARY-GOERS LOVE NEW ADULTS-ONLY XXX-RATED BOOK SHELVES

Rupert Hubbard, Commissioner of Libraries, states his libraries' Va-Va-Va-Voom sections for Adults Only are a success. "We're not about to ban Lady Chatterley's Lover because of a few kids."

 

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